Your Inner Critic CAN Become A Helpful Friend.

inner peace mindset personal growth Jun 02, 2023

You know that voice, the one on the inside, that is a royal PAIN?
It pipes up when we are trying to focus on something important and interrupts in an annoying voice?
That's the one.
You are doing your best to grow, to be brave, to do something new but having a negative naysayer who seems to jeer from the sidelines is not helping!
That PEST mutters under her breath "you know this is a big task, are you sure you are the one for this?" What if it doesn't work?",  or zingers like , "who do you think you are?'

Have you tried to ignore it? Yeah, me too. Then the naggy voice gets louder.  So, naturally, you want to put your fingers in your ears.

So, What to do with the inner critic?

Even though we wish we could poke it in the eye. 
Hold tight. Here is what we are going to do.

With a new way of hearing we are going to listen to it carefully. 

Guess what? Despite its persistent naggy nature, underneath it all, your inner critic
wants the best for you.
It represents a protective part whose task is to take care of you. Because we try  to IGNORE the inner critic, it gets more demanding, resorting to scare tactics and persistent whistleblowing, which makes us NOT want to listen to it even more.
Think of your inner critic as a safety officer or crossing guard who is committed to your safety.  This inner protector gets obnoxious when we tune them out.

What to do?
Understand that the way your critic gets your attention by nagging is the whistle, not the message.  When you listen carefully for the wise guidance it intends to deliver, the critic gets well less critical and more helpful because we are listening. You can gain an ally, a friend, a supporter who can help you to succeed.

1. First, We are going to be grateful.
Whaaaat? Yes.
Presume and assume it's intention for you is for your good even if the whistleblower method has been annoying.
Choose to have a dialogue on your own terms, listen with love and not with fear.

"Thank you for wanting the best for me." This tireless protector never gives up trying to help you.  Look for the supportive wisdom it means to convey.
When you choose to actually pay attention your inner critic can calm down and deliver the message because you are listening.
2. Ask, "What would you have me know?" "What do I need to attend to?"
3. Then, pay attention. Listen with respect to the true message underneath all the arm waving, which will quiet, calm and sincere.  Discover the  valuable nuggets of inner
4. Listen carefully for useful guidance. Is there a warning about a steep curve up
ahead? Suggesting you need not go it alone? Or, encouraging you to slow down on the curves? 
When you listen with respect to the loving, helpful, protective aspects of the message from your inner voice, it will tone down the whistle and communicate with you in a reasonable way,

Remember the story of Icarus who built special wings to explore his strong desire to fly? When he attached those wings with WAX even though he planned to fly close to the sun, his inner critic was probably "Heeeeey wait a minute there, are you sure that is a good idea?"  But it appears that Icarus felt the alarm of his inner critic and decided to tune it ALL out, fingers in his ears"lalalalalalaa" to focus on his goal.

Perhaps If he had known to listen for the love in the message underneath." Since I choose to believe you mean well, is there anything else I can know about that?" Icarus may have considered additional or alternative ways to stick the wings on? ....But Icarus instead of listening carefully in a new way ignored that inner prompt. 

Listen on your own terms. Take what works for your good and leave the rest.

How do you know when you are connecting with helpful encouraging inner wisdom? Amongst other clues, you breathe more deeply....... Phew!
5. Act on the wisdom you find.
As you listen more consistently for the helpful stuff over time, the inner voice doesn't need to be such a drama queen to get your attention. You get to connect with a wise protector who wants the best for you and whispers supportively when you need it most.

Once you listen in, heed good advice.  Check that it feels right and is for your highest good.

Here you are, your awesome self with a strong and helpful ALLY on your side!

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